Odds and Ends

We have taught them the latest in productivity enhancement and office automation.










Our Work Here is Done.


Then there is his poster of Aunuld. (1970's Aunuld). I can't read the poster but it appears to be advertising something going on in Baghdad.

NEAR BEER. BLAH!

I chanced upon a six pack of Coors brand beer substitute beverage in the team cooler yesterday so I thought I would give it a try.

(sip)
(holds sip in mouth while looking for a place to spit it out)

What kind of moron would invent such a vile concoction? It certainly wasn't anyone who actually drinks beer. This swill is worse than Zima, and that tasted like Lemon-flavored ferret urine.

How has this "product" managed to have enough sales to even stay in the marketplace?

Is there some kind of government agency that forces people to buy some of this?

Day 149. The Incredible HESCO

More pictures of HESCO basket abuse. You may recall my previous post on these marvels of technology and all the wonderful things the Iraqi Army does with them.

Clothsline. A good use for the twisty corner rods that usually get thrown away.



Decorative Entry Gate.



Decorative fence



Bridge over Nasty waters.



HESCO Guard shelter.



Decorative planter boxes.



Water pump shelter.



Decorative Minerette for the camp mosque.



Shoe rack for said Mosque.



And finally, HESCO Bicycle rack.



Is there anything these incredibly expensive pieces of military hardware can't do when cut apart and used for raw materials worth a small fraction of their real cost?

Last I heard, the IA does not buy any HESCO baskets. They depend entirely upon the US Govt to buy them for them. This is what happens when you give people stuff for free. Waste.

If you find yourself in Iraq, in charge of giving stuff to the IA, and they ask you for HESCO-brand baskets of all sizes "for force protection". Just say no.

On top of that, if they had to pay for these themselves, and really needed them, they might open their own factory and produce them at a fraction of the cost of the ones we get. There is nothing incredibly complex about the basket design, materials or fabrication. But when you get the milk for free, why buy a cow?

Day 145. Winning

More signs of winning are showing up.

1. US Forces have been directed to take the signs off of the backs of our vehicles. No longer do we say, "DANGER, STAY BACK 100M". No longer will we drive aggressively and hog the roads. Now we will share the roads and obey traffic signals. This is a big deal and demonstrates the real confidence senior army leaders (a real risk averse bunch of guys if ever there were any) have in the current security situation here in Iraq.

2. The Alquaida in Iraq leadership is whining about being betrayed by the Iraqi insurgent groups because they seem to be helping the coalition forces now. Evidently, the Home-grown insurgent fighters see the writing on the wall and know where they will be living when this is over.


It is strange that Obama, having campaigned on getting us out of Iraq, wins the election just in time for us to declare victory, after which, we would have pulled out anyway. History will show him as a great peacemaker for bringing the war to an end, with maybe a footnote of the 6 years of effort to get us here.

Day 142. Twin Peaks review.

One of the interesting things about being deployed in a third world country is the opportunity to view pirated movies and old TV series. I recently watched the entire Twin Peaks series on my PC, from imported movie files from another guy on my team.

This was one Bizarre series. 19 episodes. The big finale was in Ep 17 and it was all pretty much phoned in from there. It was made in 1990. Somehow I missed it. I must have been working for a living, or going through one of my “TV is evil” phases.

A strange mixture of horror and humor. A nice flow of releasing clues and mystery blended with the supernatural and the UFO.

The worst soundtrack, ever.

Half of the town is involved in mysterious doings and the other half is certifiable.

The main character is a well-played mix of Walker, Texas Ranger, Dudley Do-Right, and Mr Bean. He is constantly talking into his tape recorder, in a day before cell phones were in wide use, to a person he calls “Diane”. His notes to her are typical secretarial notes, expense reports, and requests for things to be sent to him. But the tape doesn't go anywhere, so how does “Diane” know what is needed and send it right out? Maybe he sends the tapes by snail-mail each night because calling her from his Hotel phone takes too much time.

A cliff-hanger at the end of every episode. Then the whole season ends without answering the mysteries that were building up in just the last two episodes. Almost as if the writers had intended to get renewed for another season, but didn't.

The town has plenty of bars, but only one restaurant and only one doctor. Maybe those things are related.

Special guest in the last episode: Pre-X-Files David Duchovney. Worth watching the whole series just to see this entry.

The owls are not what they seem. But then, nothing is.

Day 141. Blah, Blah, Blah

There is a lot going on but nothing important. I have a few really important ideas to blog about, but I just don't care right now. I am overcome by melancholy, malaise and apathy. So, whatever.

Future topics:
Electricity
Who I think will Win the election
Basic economics
Twin Peaks (I'm watching it now) DONE

Day 134. Got Cholera?

Imagine the following conversation between an Iraqi child and parent.

Child: Abdul has the Cholera. What is cholera?
Iraqi Parent: It is a horrible disease that is very painful and kills very quickly.

Child: Where does it come from?
Iraqi Parent: No one really knows. It is probably a punishment from Allah for allowing the infidels to put chemicals like Chlorine in our water.

American Children don't learn about such things because there isn't any Cholera in the USA. That is because we have standards of sewage treatment and practices like making sure the well is a proper distance from the septic tank. But thanks to rampant immigration from the Third World, all kind of old things are making their way to the USA.

Iraqi Children don't learn about it because they mostly don't go to school, because their parents mostly didn't go to school. So they can't even read the warning posters that their government puts everywhere.

I have already touched on this subject in regard to litter and air pollution. This post is specifically about water contamination.

The cause is not the lack of an EPA, but the lack of the mentality among the general population that other people's property is worthy of their personal efforts at preservation. They know what they are doing and just don't care. Their own gardens are clean and well maintained, but they will dump their household garbage over the garden wall, where it will stay 'till it rots away or catches fire.



This is a typical day in Iraq, dumping raw sewage into a drainage canal. This canal connects to all the others in the area, feeding farm irrigation, livestock watering and eventually feeding back into the Euphrates river. The water table here is only 2 feet below the surface. But well contamination is not an issue. 5,000 years of water contamination has taught everyone that well water is undrinkable because the entire water table is contaminated. The only fresh water sources are treated water and rain water, collected before it hits the ground. And there isn't much of that.

"...And then one day Abdul was shooten' at some Jews,
And up through the ground came a bubbling crude... Oil that is...."

O wait. No. Used oil. Market value = negative $5000.

Why is that pool of oil just laying on the ground? Because the high clay content of the ground keeps it from soaking in fast. How did it get there? From the mechanics at the Iraqi Army motor pool 100 yards away. Why did they put it there? Because the sewage canal was another 100 yards away and they didn't want to walk that far.

Permanent contamination of the ground water.

BTW, There is a vaccine for Cholera but it costs more than Iraqi parents are willing to pay for their children's health.

Day 127. RAIN

It is raining outside. Real rain. Big drops. Puddles. Mud. Everything. First time since I arrived here. It will be interesting to see what color the trees are without 5 months of dust on them.

UPDATE: After a good washing, the natural color of the trees is...

Dusty green.

I have also discovered a new smell. I call it the smell of 5,000 years of human habitation in the same place without sewage treatment.

Proposed changes to the Constitution of the USA.

In general, I am against changes to the Constitution. Particularly if the change is intended to better define something that is already in there. I am against amendments to change abortion law, define marriage and protect the flag. None of those things are constitutional issues and should be solved by the state legislatures and congress. Yet there are some Constitutional issues that can only be solved through the Constitution because the source of the problems are inherently from the Constitution. Let's face it, the existing 1st, 2nd, 4th, 5th, 6th, 7th, 8th, 9th, and 10th amendments are all clear enough and are still pushed aside every day as if they didn't exist. Clearer language is no defense against people in high places doing whatever the hell they want.


1. A change to national elections so that if no candidate receives more than 52% of the vote (no rounding) that the election shall be deemed a tie. A special run-off election will be held the following week with only the top two vote getters participating. Modern elections are decided by too close of a margin to continue the way they have for the past 20 years. We need a clear winner or we need to do it again until we get one. This will also undercut the effects of third party shenanigans while actually giving them a better shot in the “first round”. Since a run-off is automatic, no one will feel like they are throwing away their vote for casting the first vote for who they really want. Expect high third party vote getters to at least get acknowledged in future elections. Let's face it. In the past 20 years, the President of the USA has been decided by less than the margin of error/ margin of fraud. We need to do better. Nor can we afford to have Presidents who do not have the support of a clear majority of the nation to accomplish his campaign promises.

2.Change the definition of American citizen from “anyone born here and naturalized immigrants,” to “children of citizens and naturalized immigrants”. This is an illegal alien issue. Before the economy went all hinky, illegal immigration was a really big deal. But the ADHD legacy media can't hold onto yesterday's news that long. It is still a big deal and it has to be dealt with. As long as there is the anchor baby loophole, there will be people to exploit it. Discussions of walls, legal immigration and deportations are moot until we fix the basic premise of what it really takes to be one of “us”. Being an American is a sweet deal. We should not share it cheaply with everyone who can sneak across the border (North, South, and airports) and download a child.

3.Eliminate the Senate. These overpaid petty aristocrats have outlived their usefulness. The bicameral legislature was set up in Europe to represent the commoners in the lower house and the aristocrats in the House of Lords. That way, the lords could veto anything the mob tried to do that they didn't like. Similarly, the Senate in the USA was supposed to represent the states, while the House was to represent the populations. With the 17th amendment, making the Senate popularly elected, it no longer serves to represent the states. They are a big fat redundant house of representatives. Everything they do can be done by the House of Representatives or call it a “general assembly.” BTW, the same can be said for all of the state legislatures too (those that have a senate). Some claim that the Senate provides checks and balances against the house, but that is only the case when they are controlled by separate parties. So it is really the two-party system bringing checks and balance to the legislature. But in most cases, the worst laws seem to get bi-partisan support anyway, so what benefit to us is the current system?


4.Repeal the 26th Amendment. Permit the voting age to be 21 nationally. The way I see it, voting is more important to us as a nation than drinking. If people can't be trusted to drink responsibly at 20, then what business do they have trying to run the country? This will be a hard one to pass. The 18-21 age group is notorious for not voting but they never shut up about how they think the country should be run and who should run it.

Day 124. Death and Taxes

On day 120 I posted a picture of street urchins.

Here it is again.



Instead of focusing on the children, look at the cars behind them to the right. You will notice a large box on top of a car. That is a coffin, presumably with a body inside. In Iraq, as in most third world countries, there is no burial industry to take care of all the arrangements. No stretch limos, hearses, somber men in black suits and no bills running into the thousands of dollars. Dieing here is free. Getting buried is up to your family. Often, they use whatever they have to get the job done with a minimum of fuss. It is very common to see a coffin atop a small sedan, with a large number of people squeezed inside and maybe a few other equally packed cars following. No police escorts, daytime headlights or other signs of hierarchical organization. Just the family, getting on with a routine part of life...death.

Day 123. Where is the Quality?

Don't people love their work any more? Isn't there any pride in doing a job well? Doesn't anyone care about pleasing the customer?

I believe the important cultural institutions are collapsing all around us. Today, I find that the institution of the Nigerian scam email has fallen to poor quality. Perhaps they are victims of their own success and expanding at an unsustainable rate. Or maybe they are just getting sloppy because their customers have no where else to go. It's not like the Russians or Chinese can make those incredible offers.

Example.

Received today:

HELLO,
I PRAYED BEFORE THIS REQUEST DO NOT PURPRISE I WANT TO COME IN YOUR COUNTRY,TO STAY IN YOUR PLACE MY PARENTS WHERE DIED BY FOOD POISON AND MY UNCLE SEND ME PARKING EVEN TREATING TO KILL,I NEVER NEW THAT HIS THE ONE RESPONSIBLE OF MY PARENTS DEATH DUE TO HIS PLAN TO COLLECT BOTH LAND,I HAVE LEAVE TO THE NEIGHBOURING COUNTRY WHERE MY FATHER BASED BEFORE HE DIED,WHERE HE DEPOSITED THE SUM OF ($7.2M)SEVEN MILLION TWO HUNDRED THOUSAND US DOLLARS HERE IN BAMAKO CAPITAL CITY OF MALI ,THE BANK DIRECTOR MR NORMAN
MERSERE ORDERD ME TO COME FORWARD WITH MY GAURDIAN TO STAND FOR EASY TRANSFER AND INVESTMENT TOO,SHOW ME LOVE PLEASE AM TIRED OF BEING IN HELPLESS ZONE, I HOPE TO HEAR FROM YOU THANK ‘S.

FROM JESSICA KONE

Printed in all caps. I almost get a seizure from just looking at it. Poor word choice and sentence construction. She never even comes right out an offers me a part of her vast wealth.

This just makes me sick. If the Nigerians (working though Italian mail servers) can't get their act together soon, I will be forced to get my monotonous spam somewhere else.

Spammers... you have been warned.

Day 120.

Well. We are finished with the first third of our tour here. Four months into it and still not a sight nor sound of combat. Still think we are in a quagmire? In case you were wondering, this is what winning looks like. It is what we have always wanted here. A peaceful Iraq that is no threat to its neighbors.

More pictures of life here.

A busy market street.


The area in the background is a crowded market area. It is like that every day.


A car load of children on their way somewhere. Note that seatbelt use is not encouraged here. This being the modern age, and no cars being manufactured anywhere in the Arab world (except Detroit, and not many there), every car manufactured in the past 30 years has seat belts included. They just don't know why anyone would use them.


Steet Urchins, sell boxes of tissues. Arab drivers must use a lot of this for some reason. Older kids move up the product chain to selling fruit, canned soda and other objects that I can't identify.


The kids in this video are going through all the standard motions that are familiar to every US soldier who has ever driven the streets here.

[video failed to load]--sorry, bandwidth here is limited.

There is the international symbol for "give me a soccer ball", hands in front, facing each other while doing a kicking motion. The Americans who were here before these kids were old enough to walk must have given away soccer balls like candy. We never have, but these kids make the motions every day we pass them

And the international symbol for, "I am dieing of thirst because my parents make me work in the hot sun all day and don't give me any water. Please give me your Gatorade (r)". Hands holding an invisible bottled beverage to the lips as if drinking from it.

Of course, we wouldn't dare give them anything. We know the system too well. If you give one something, the bigger kids will beat him up and take it away. Then the smaller kid will expect you to make it better by giving him another one. We also don't throw candy at them from our vehicles because we don't want them darting out into traffic to get the candy. It seems selfish on our part, but the third world is not a place of rainbows and unicorns for children. As one of my interpreters once told me, "did you know that we actually have soccer balls in Iraqi stores? If their parents wanted them to have a ball, they would have bought them one."

Captured guns, taken away from assorted bad guys. In Iraq, every house is permitted to have 1 AK-47 rifle and some ammunition. Any more than that and they are up to no good. The penalty for having too many is having all of them confiscated. We also captured some brand spanking new RPG-9 rockets. Still in the factory wrappings from Iran. Production labels less than three months old. Anyone out there think Iran is not at war with us? (CLUE: They have been for thirty years)


Ending on a light note: More Penguins.

Just a suggestion

I have an idea to improve the internet, make it faster and a more enjoyable experience.

1. Cut it off from all foreign countries (Non-USA).


Let's face it, what have China, Eastern Europe, and Africa contributed to the WWW? Spam, porn, wire fraud and hacking. Who needs it? let them invent their own WWW. Not like that will happen. As it is, most of my spam comes from domains like .IT, .CA, .CN, and .FR.

i could easily cut off most of my spam by simply blocking all foreign email.

I will miss my readers from Canada, Australia and NZ (all three of them), but that is a small price to pay for a doubling in band width. I would even consent to keeping Canada as part of the USA, (it practically is).

Day 114, Hescos

The IA really likes Hescoes. These barrier devices set up quickly with very little ground preparation or special equipment. Just fold them up and fill them with dirt and you have a bullet-proof barrier. In proper thicknesses, they also stop car bombs and RPGs. Because they are filled with dirt or sand, they don't add to fragmentation like a concrete barrier would.

I first saw Hescos being used in Bosnia in 1996. They were popular then.

This little story tells about all the different kinds and their prices.

Here are some pictures of Hescos in use by US forces.


Hesco baskets.


Here are some pictures of what the IA uses them for.
Flowerbox

Decorative fence

Trash can.


I have also seen them used as bedframes and the bird cages I posted about earlier.

The economics of it tell us that this is a very expensive way to get metal fences. But for the IA, it is free. You see, they don't buy any of it, they get it from US. A good deal for them. And because they aren't paying for it, they have no incentive to use it wisely. Free stuff ALWAYS leads to waste.

Day 112. US Army Supply System

The US army supply system has many advantages over that of the IA. Even still, we have many problems too.

1. First. Let it be known across the land, that the US Army lacks for nothing that is essential to winning or protecting troops lives. We never say, "we don't have enough money" to get what we need. Still, there are some things we just can't get and other things we get deluged with that we really don't need.

2. Fully 1/2 of the equipment I was issued at Fort Riley has never been taken out of the bag. And everything I was issued there was brand-spanking new. The US Army bent over backwards to ensure that everyone had everything on their deployment list, and in the right sizes. That included things like wet weather gear and ponchos (if you have one, what do you need the other for?) for soldiers all going to countries that are famous for not raining.

3. Since I have arrived here, my supply system has delivered in about 60 days things like high quality knives (Benchmade brand), Leathermen, and expensive flashlights (Surefire brand). None of which I would call "essential". We have no trouble at all getting as much non-essential expensive "gifts" as we want. Every week, it is like Christmas when the supply truck arrives. What is Uncle Santa bring us today?

4. We have also received some things that the previous team ordered. Things we can't identify and we don't know why the other team needed them. For instance, we received two small metal clips that are labeled "contact, electrical". We don't have a clue what they are for.

5. We also have an endless supply of such things as "sign-here" Post-it notes. We have boxes and boxes of these and no earthly use for them.

6. Some of the things we get, we just have to scratch our heads because we don't know why anyone would ask for it. i.e. 25 cases of Lemon Pledge. We can't give most of it back. No one else wants it either.

7. Some stuff coming in was ordered by a previous team two years ago and is now just coming in. We can't cancel orders that are already coming in. I can only imagine how much brand new stuff goes into the dumpster every month just to get rid of it.

8. We also have trouble getting some of the obscure stuff we really need. And we always get excuses like, "that is easy to get, all you have to do is fill out the proper requisition forms." We did, and we are still waiting.

9. We also get stuff that seemed like a good idea at the time, but the guy ordering it didn't read the fine print. For example, how about some rechargeable batteries , AA, AAA, and 9v. All very useful. And some chargers to go with them. Except the chargers only work on 110v power. OOPS! Iraq and US bases in Iraq use 220v.

Day 108. Stuff

Just another day in Iraq. Ramadan is over. The 4-day holiday after Ramadan is over. Everyone is back at work (or at least back at their places of work). Crowded streets and markets are an indicator of national wellness.



I found this little guy outside my hut. He would normally be blending in with his environment so as to go completely unnoticed by me, but this time, his environment was the freezer. He is the first of his kind I have seen in Iraq so I thought it worthy of a picture.



This is what happens when your Donkeys are worth more than your sons. This kid should be in school. They have already started back after the summer break, but child labor is an important part of the local economy. There are plenty of much younger children at most major intersections selling fruit and tissue paper. I can't imagine they make enough doing that to make it worth being there all day. There is also a lot of competition among other bigger children, so what sales there are get shared among a lot of hands. But if they are staying home, they bring in nothing. At least this way, they are outside and not in front of the TV set.

Day 104. Baghdad

We were awakened to gunfire all around our camp this morning. No one got hurt. It was celebratory fire, like the 4th of July, to celebrate the end of Ramadan.

Then we took a trip to Baghdad. Three hours each way by truck. No one tried to blow us up, shoot, stab or call us names that would hurt our feelings.

Pictures.

This is a common road sign on a major highway. It is just like you would see in the USA except with more bullet holes (road signs in the rural South excepted). Of note, the name of the Airport in Baghdad is Bagdhad International Airport (BIAP for short), not as has previously been reported "Bush International Air Port".


The next three pictures are the famed crossed swords monument. There are two sets of crossed swords, about a half a mile distant from each other. Between them is the old parade field where Saddam used to review his troops and tell them about how they were going to kick the American Army's ass all the way back to North Carolina. The monument is in the Green Zone in Baghdad and is now under the control of the Iraqi government. The really interesting story is that the monument was made from the helmets of captured and killed Iranian troops in their 8 year war. Many of the helmets can still be seen on parts of the monument and embedded as speed bumps in the street. I tend to think of the story as a bit of hyperbole though. Many Iranian soldiers did not wear helmets as the war drew on. Further, there is too much metal mass in the monument to account for what would have been scrap metal. There were certainly other sources too.




This last picture is a sculpture of Icarus at the entrance to BIAP.


We also had lunch at one of the larger bases near BIAP. It was a real hassle getting there and the food was pretty bad. Definitely worse than when I visited there 3 months ago. Then we drove home.